Seeking Forgiveness

 Seeking Forgiveness

God can easily grant you forgiveness, but from people it’s always impossible.

I see no difference between a man that hands you your first cigarette, the first bottle of booze, or a gun. All of them are masquerading as something you need to live a life. At least, that is what they want you to believe because they bought the same premise from others.

A person is freely giving away a pack of cigarettes because he sees you with an empty hand. He hands you a bottle of booze because you look sad and depressed. If you show any signs of fear, people will give you a gun to fight back. Through all the questions in life, the answer seems to reside in violence in one way or the other. All the people, majority of them will want you to take the poison. But only a few of them will give you the right answer even if they don’t seem to have it.

All the people who spread the toxic cloud in the air, they live a very sick life, they rely on drinking the poison to make their living tolerable. The goal for these people seems to be dragging more folks to the vapor cloud. Making more people walk on the path of no return. I get why these people are reliant on spreading the toxins, there is no living soul on this planet who wants to be lonely in the end. Companionship has always been the best way to ease the pain.

Why they do, what they do?

Adding more people on the line of fire seems to make the end journey a little bearable for the sinners. As they will have somebody who is suffering from the same pain as them. Misery makes for a great companionship.

It always takes a damn long time for one to realize that these so-called friends played you, it always happens when you lit your 1000 packs of cigarettes, or drank an ocean of liquor, or killed all of your enemies. At that point, your mind can not comprehend a way out. Nothing can be done, they are all gone, the people who cared. All that remains are the claws that are slowly dragging you to eternal silence.

What need to be done at the end?

You try hard to convince the good ones, but all they see are the deeds you left behind. You might want a single word of forgiveness but they will not give you one. But your heart settles for it, you only care about them, a small group of people lingering in the air like a plastic bag for your miserable life.

For once in your life, you want to give them the things they want, without asking for anything in return. You keep telling them that you don’t need anything, even forgiveness for the damage you caused. At that point in your life, you are already used to carrying the guilt on your back, just like a turtle, but you are not winning any race.

It’s quite a place to be in, god can easily grant you forgiveness, but for people it’s always impossible.