Rain is part of the same sky that offers sun

 Voices in my head...

How can you, don't you know heaven and hell are both caricatures of the same consciousness that you bore for the rest of your lives. Or you want to drown in pleasure while listening to the silent cry from the soul that used to wonder around you. How can you even think of something like that, is that all there is to life?

A glimpse of hope in the world of unsustainability, and this is the reward they get for bringing that to our miserable life? Is that all there is to the world? Nothing more or nothing less. Maybe the lack of religious presence has created a void in your heart. Since everything is an object, why not apply the identical hypothesis for humans as well. So eventually, you will see the people as how you see your toothbrush, that's a fun way to suppress any sort of emotion.

The empress of sins wants you, it wants you without having you feel any remorse for your action. And you are giving in, a shame really. It's a shame that you are abandoning everything to breathe in the finite moment of pleasure. That you think, it is good for you not to spare any thoughts on others and just say move on like those monks chant in the forest.

God what a man you have become, you have become one of those people who neither believe in hell or heaven, which translates to neither good nor bad. A blank slate, a white sheet that is capable of anything. It can carry hate and love, sometimes both at the same time. You have become a blank slate, a paper that carries nothing inside. People come to write down their names thinking or hoping it will stay forever. But you know that you will erase their name the second they disappear from your life.

Ever wondered what is good in this world? It is never about doing good deeds, no it has always been about keeping your consciousness. This is one of those times, the devil is stretching his hands at you asking you to give it away. And you are left with little with no choices. Either you give it to him, and drown in the pleasure without feeling guilt or keep the consciousness and get swallowed by an immense amount of guilt. The latter end is more painful, as every pill of happiness carries a heavy dose of bitterness inside.

I don't know, should I give it away, I mean, I almost survived 30 years in this rotten world with it, do I have the courage in my heart to gamble how far I will go in this world holding this consciousness to my best chest. Or just let it go in the water, where it will float like Ophelia surrounded by poppies, pansies, and daisies.

Had you kept your faith, you would have been worried about it. People like you were the ones dancing to the same tune of devil in all nine circles of hell. Unfortunately for you, there is no Virgil by your side to guide you through the treacherous land any more.

He left, gone, disappeared, never to appear again. The time he spent in this world was amazing. He fed the poor, lifted the sick, gave voice to the mute, ears to the deaf, and at the end he left his presence. If I close my eyes, I can feel his presence in the air, in the sky, in the water, everywhere. That my friend, is a legacy that can't be bought with pesky little money.

The best thing you can give to the world is a smile, and he did all the while carrying a boulder on his back like Sisyphus. He never let anyone see his burden, as a good man he did everything right.

Hey, listen...

Not brushing your ego my friend, you are unique like he was and the rest that are still breathing every day. If you feel blue, write the emotions down, some will read it, mostly won't. But that never stopped you, it is about leaving the emotion out in the world. It is beautiful to create mesmerizing strings of words out of emotions. You my friend have it, just write them down, get vulnerable, nobody is judging. It is a blank white sheet or screen, it just wants to be filled.

And it is your job to fill it with something, raw emotion of pain and depression on a paper makes it more valuable. Life is good, good things have happened and will happen again. Rain is part of the same sky that offers sun. So don't you worry about evil, narcissism, racists, goons, murderers, and finally death. They are just part of your life, you just live the present, be happy with yourself.

Again - Learn to smile by yourself, the world gets brighter for you even if it's raining outside. He said that, remember.